Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
