can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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