Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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