it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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