I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
