i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize