i jhust puked up my retainher.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
someone owes me an orgasm
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
