the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
it glows. i had to have it.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
