NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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