No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
