i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
