uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
