Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Life is so much better after having sex.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
