I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
