You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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