take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
