Who wears a wallet chain?!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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