It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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