I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
