He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize