There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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