Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You're earring is so big in my mouth
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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