you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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