Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
