Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
