never play flip cup with pint glasses
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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