I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We have started to decorate penises.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
