guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize