Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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