she woke up with a sticky ear
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize