my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
