If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
