just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
