I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
