Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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