i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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