If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
