I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
