all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
