I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
