I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
