do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
