I'm gonna have a badass scar
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
