Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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