brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize
