She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I could have mohawked her pubes.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
