Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
