Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
