whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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