I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
