Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
