apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
