I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
