you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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