we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize