so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My vagina is officially offended.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
