I murdered the dance floor call the cops
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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