so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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