yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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