I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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