He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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