I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
