talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize