No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
