We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
