We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
No I am not eating basil off your cock
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
