just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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